A few days later. But important days. I found out (by myself) why I've been drinking so much (starting on straight brandy at 5 A.M.); playing thousands and thousands of games of Solitaire on the computer; eating more than is good for me; using all of the oxycodone Dr. Director will prescribe for me. Earlier last week, the good Doctor said: no alcohol at all. And I've followed his directive. Then setting up my suicide, which is enormously complicated if you want to do it right. Besides the oxycodone, hard likker is best, though it tastes terrible until you get to the third or fourth drink. So, anyway, here I am without my crutches. And over a few days of posting to this here blog, I start to get insight into what's going on.
Looking ahead (calendar view), we're going to hit the wall (no cash, no credit) some time in July or August (at the latest). (Even in writing the previous sentence, I have so managed my words that reading them, I don't have to connect myself with the terror that hides behind them. It's like looking at the sun. I hope, I very much hope, that we can let the air out of this bogeyman, despite its reality. I've never been in a jam like this before. It's possible that my lack of experience explodes the evil ahead to a size much less consistent with the reality. After all, in 2009, lots of people are going through this kind of thing, and much, much worse.
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